The only word is amazing

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People ask how I got it.

It was easy. They announced the Saturday night party plan for #BlogHer13, and I knew I wanted in. I dashed off an email to Elisa and asked: “What's a girl gotta do to be in the fashion show?” and she replied, “You're in!” (Ask and ye shall receive and all that)

I've written a bunch in the last few months about my body, and my self image, and how I'm working my (literal!) butt off to get to where I want to be.

I've talked the talk, but now? I've walked the walk.

I didn't just walk the runway, I killed it, and loved every minute of it, even as my feet screamed for mercy the next day.

As I jittered in line backstage, watching our fellow models have their moment in the spotlight, I could hardly believe that this was something I was about to do. Concerned I'd trip, worried that no one would cheer, that a boob would pop out of my top, that I'd drop my purse or lose an earring. These were all the things swirling in my head as I waited.

As the stagehand helped me up the steps, as it became my turn, that all went away.

I turned the corner to face the crowd, and my heart exploded. I heard my name, SCREAMED by my friends. I saw the spotlights, I stepped forward. And all the worries from moments before were silenced. I was able to revel in the moment. In MY moment.

It it was glorious.

It was over practically before I could blink, and I was running backstage to change into my second outfit. Hands shaking from adrenaline, unable to take out my earrings or unbuckle my shoes from exhillaration. I changed. (The long delay between day and evening wear? Sorry. That wrap skirt was a pain!)

And then? I got to do it AGAIN!

I had watched the videos from last year; I'd seen people leave their mark as they left the runway, do their thing. I'd already dared Vikki to smack her own rear, and she had done just that. Katherine had thrown her hands up in celebration, and Natasha nearly killed the crowd with her amazingness. I wanted a “thing” but I had no idea what to do.

As I reached my stop point for my final turn, as my amazing model experience ended, I blew a kiss.

I wanted to hug and kiss every single person in that room, in that moment. The way I felt? How gorgeous, and powerful and incredible? I wanted EVERYONE to feel it.

We made our finale walk, going through the audience, with hoots and screams and high fives as we walked. Again, I couldn't believe this was my life. This was something I got to do.

ETA: The official Look Book post has been published over at BlogHer! You can get info on all the brands, as well as see everyone's gorgeous looks from the show! Click here to check it out!

I need to thank everyone who made this incredible thing possible; Elisa at BlogHer, for letting me shine. Darlene and her team for putting it all together, and Giftbar.com for the pieces we wore. Top image and group photo credit: BlogHer '13 fashion show sponsored by ULTA. Other photos, credit goes to Bitchin Wives Club (used with permission)