The Way I Remember It
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This was written for The Red Dress Club‘s memoir writing project, Remembe(red). Concrit is always welcome, and thanks for taking the time!
Mine your memories and write about the earliest grade you can recall. What was special? What was ordinary? What did you feel? Hear? See? Smell?
Word limit: 600 My count: 561
I saw the stick on the ground, but it was too late. I'd only been riding my two-wheeler for a couple of months at that point, so braking was not a strong point. I braced for impact, locking my elbows and squeezing my eyes shut.
The branch caught between the spokes on the front wheel of my shiny red Schwinn, locking it up immediately. As stated in Newton's first law of motion, “every body remains in a state of constant velocity unless acted upon by an external unbalanced force.” In this case, that body was mine and the external unbalanced force was the road.
I launched over the handlebars face first, and when I landed, I skidded to a stop with my right cheek taking most of the impact.
I was dying. I was sure of it.
I knew I shouldn't have ridden my bike all the way down to Campeche Court, two whole blocks from home. My friend Lindy took off running to find my mom.
I was still convinced I was dying.
I carefully felt my face, to make sure my nose was still there, to feel what I was sure was my brain, raw and exposed to the neighborhood kids who had gathered around to watch. I knew I was bleeding; the coppery taste of it filled my mouth. I should have told Lindy to call 911 and have me airlifted to the hospital. It was at least a mile from here to the ER! I'd never survive that long!
My mom came running, my savior, better than any doctor or nurse. She helped me limp home, with Lindy carefully walking my mangled bike alongside us.
My mom carefully cleaned my road rash, which covered half my face; the asphalt had left a dramatic swath of torn skin. I knew that I'd never look the same and I would bear these scars for the rest of my life.
It was so awful an injury that I had to stay home from school for several days, weeks, even. I didn't want to fall behind in class, but had to be careful not to expose my injury to too many germs, and kindergarten is full of germs!
When I finally did go back to school, my scab was something reviled by the girls and admired by the boys. I grossed myself out, examining it in the mirror, poking and prodding at it. That scab stayed with me for at least the rest of the school year, and probably well into summer vacation; I'm lucky it isn't still there, a reminder of that unfortunate bike ride.
The way my mom remembers it, well, to be honest… she doesn't. “Oh, yeah. I remember that time you fell off your bike. You really scraped up your leg.”
“My face.”
“Right, your face. That one. Yeah, I remember. Down on the other court, right?”
“Campeche.”
“Oh yes, Campeche. In front of Linda Whatsername's house.”
“Lindy.”
“OK. Yeah, I remember. I think I kept you home from school the next day, because you were too embarrassed to go back right away.”
“Only one day?”
“I'm pretty sure it was a day. I wasn't working, it was just kindergarten, so why not? Why are we talking about this, anyway?”
My bet is that what really happened falls somewhere in between both of our recollections.
Moms are amazing aren't they? They never seem to remember the same as we do, but their memories are often just as good.
This humor you wrote this with came across, as did your fear that your face was ruined and your brain was exposed (I loved that whole paragraph). I actually put my hand up to feel my face!
My only concrit is that I think you could have summed up Newton's 1st Law of Motion in more layman's terms. It just doesn't sound like something a 5 yr old would say or even think. I do like the way you included it, I just think you could word it in a better way.
I could see the little girl (myself) touching the scab, lots of other miniature faces looking back at me, some with disgust and some with interest. What a moment!!
It is so funny how we remember things as being so BIG and our moms remember that they weren't that big of a deal. My mom is the same way.
I loved the same paragraph as Stephanie. It is a great mix of information and humor.
Great job Lizz! You really painted the picture of exactly what happened. You poor thing. I could imagine something like that is unforgettable. Great details and I think the Newton's Law works because you are telling the story how you remember it as of now. Love that you included your mom's memory. 🙂
I really love this. I'm a nostalgia girl, and I can't count the number of conversations I've had like this with my Mom. I'm always trying to confirm memories with her and she usually has very little idea what I'm talking about or remembers it differently, etc… This just hits those notes perfectly. I love how you have the picture to prove your face was involved. Like Stephanie, my hand also flew up to my cheek when I read your description of your injuries. I also wasn't sure about the inclusion of the Newton, but that's a minor quibble.
Ouch, your poor thing!! I would have probably been embarrassed to go back too. I love how you gave us your Mom's take on it as well… 🙂
Awww, poor little girl! That's quite the road rash. I like how you included your extreme five year old thoughts, ie dying, being airlifted…so typical of a little kid's mind.
I love how you captured the over exagerated mind of a child. "I was convinced that I was dying". Love.
Mom's are the best aren't they 😉 Of course I'm biased since I am one.
I kind of like Newton's Law, as is… it's your perspective now, looking back, and that just sounds so like something that I would think of in retrospect. And oh, I do feel that thud onto the ground.
One tiny concrit (which is probably too nitpicky to mention)… in your first paragraph: I'd only been riding my two-wheeler for a couple of months at that point, so braking was not a strong point. Using the word point two times so close together breaks your flow a bit.
Your poor cheek, it makes me hurt for you, and simultaneously remember all the times I fell off things.
Good work!
Bobbi
The humour in this worked so well.~ You really caught the drama that children feel over their boo-boos, and then tempered it by having your mother's point of view at the end. Bravo, darlin'. Nicely done.~
I love that you incorporated the dialogue with your mom. It's funny how our stories sometimes differ with our parents memories. I was a very clumsy kid & one of my big falls was over the handlebars of my bike. I still have 2 scars right under my nose for proof of the accident. I empathize with this fall. Great descriptions – even if my stomach did drop for a minute thinking about you and that poor scab.
It's amazing how vivid your memories are of that day. I chuckled at bit at the exaggeration, it's so true of children!
I loved the drama of this, the dying, the brains, I thought it worked so well as a way to show us your shock rather than tell us about it.
The end conversation is hilarious because it so nicely balances the earlier mom, the savior mom.
Great job. Your poor face!!
My mom has a terrible memory too.
Some concrit: this line "was not a strong point." I think would sound better as "was not a strength."
Also Neutons law seems a bit out of place.
Overall Iove.
I love how you go from dying to the conversation with your mom, and she doesn't even remember the fall. Classic! Great writing!
I called my mom too..to 'help' me remeber. I also made her get me the picture I put on my post. Moms really. Are amazing . Plus I think like everything else our memories fall somewhere in between.
I loved this piece!!!
This was great. I can't believe you have a picture to share! How crazy. Ow!
I love that you included the recent conversation with your mom. That was excellent.
I do agree with the comments on Newton, I think that whole part of the paragraph could go. I get why you used it but I think it interrupts your flow.
I am also one who is anal about using the same word two times in such close proximity, so the double point part could use an edit, but I loved loved the overall story! Great!
OUCH! No wonder your memory of this is better than that of your mom. After all, it was YOUR face. I don't blame you for thinking that you were going to die. Any 5 year old would think it too. I love how you show the thinking of a kid at that age…..exposed brains, airlifting to the local hospital.
Ouch, Lizz! I loved how strongly you opened here- you drew me right on in and the photo at the end is priceless!
Contrasting your and your mom's memories was pure genius. It was sweet and endearing.
I loved this part: "my scab was something reviled by the girls and admired by the boys" because man, isn't that *so* the way it is?! Great job, friend!
"every body remains in a state of constant velocity unless acted upon by an external unbalanced force." In this case, that body was mine and the external unbalanced force was the road. LOL. I had a similar situation at around this time. I received stitches in my chin. I just remember all the blood. I couldn't believe that much was coming out of me! Oh, by the way…U R VERY FUNNY. I'll be following your chaos. I think it's going to be fun. xxoo
I loved this! So glad that you visited my blog so I was encouraged to visit yours. I want to remember, and write about, my past with humor but much of the time the memories seem to come with angst.
And you really are blessed that it didn't leave a scar. I wiped out (bicycle) when I was 12 and bear the scars on my elbow to this day. I did it in the summer though …. didn't have to miss any school!
physical pain certainly does make a memory stand out! I love that you included a picture, and that is a huge scrape!! Im glad you wrote more of your backstory! 🙂 I like that you used so many place and name details too!
Oh, that looks so painful! I love the little drama that's running through your mind as you wait for your mother: "We should have called 911! A helicopter!" Ah, childhood. I can't even remember how many times I thought I was going to die; I was sure of it.