December 19 – Healing What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?
I feel like this one should write itself, because I had such a (literally) healing year, but I'm having trouble. My transplant in September was the single event that healed more than just my body.
The whole year led up to it; Tim started the testing process right around the holidays *last* year, so it (thinking about, preparing for, recovering from “it”) really was part of us for most of the year, and now I step into the post-transplant part of my life.
Life on dialysis is like functioning at 90% all of the time. I didn't always realize it, but looking back now, I realize it's true. Even your best days aren't as good as a “normal” best day. I've often said it's “like that Clartitin commercial” where it's all faded, and looks fine at first, until they peel away the haze and you realize how bright the colors are really supposed to be.
Having a new chunk of flesh surgically implanted in your body hurts; but it heals. I've long passed that part of my recovery, and now I need to move on to the next phase… I need to stop thinking of myself as “sick” and not let that hold me back from things I want to do.
And I'm getting there, day by day. It's a process that I'm sure will continue well into 2011.