Oh, Monday

My office has a work from home day every week, and until last week, it was Monday.

I would sigh and try to sympathize with my friends’ “Eff you Monday” Facebook posts, but sitting on my couch at home, still wearing jammies and drinking my second cup of coffee made it tough sometimes.

Work from home Mondays allowed me to transition slowly into the work week… it was nice. Tuesday never seems as cruel as Monday.

But as a result, I have been in my office on about three Mondays in the two and a half years I’ve been there. Mondays are different.

So here's how it went down, this first Monday in the office.

Woke up, went to kitchen to make coffee. We're out of coffee.
Monday: 1, Lizz: 0

Ha! We have emergency K-Cups for just reason! Take that, Monday!
Monday: 1, Lizz: 1

Drive to the train station, park the car. I typed the wrong parking spot number into the pay machine. Like, it’s not even close. I parked in spot 468 and typed in 687 or something. In an effort to get ahead of the impending ticket, I called the support number on the receipt. Three disconnections later, I got someone to take my name and number so she can redirect me to someone who can help.
Monday: 2, Lizz: 1

I get to the train station and the escalator is out of order. In your FACE, Monday! I always take the stairs!
Monday: 2, Lizz: 2

I arrive on the platform just as the train pulls up. I don’t have my usual spot at the front of the boarding line, and I’m unable to get a seat. Damn.
Monday: 3, Lizz: 2

Gazing out the window of the train, the neighborhoods below look different, but I can’t place it. Oh! It’s their garbage day! I don’t normally see their trash cans out. I would hate to have Monday be my trash day, I think to myself. This isn’t a score changer, just a random observation.
Monday: 3, Lizz: 2

Ha! Someone got off the train! I got a seat, AND it’s on the not-facing-into-the-rising-sun side of the train. I’ll take it.
Monday: 3, Lizz: 3

Giant line at Starbucks, because it’s clearly the first day of a convention and they haven’t found any of the FIVE other coffee places within 2 blocks (and two of those are Starbucks)
Monday: 3, Lizz: 3

Watched homeless man almost get hit by taxi while jaywalking. Skid marks and fishtailing and everything. So close.
Monday: 5, Lizz: 3

And then I arrive at work..

Checking the Twitter feed, I reply to someone, trying to be helpful, and instead accidentally engage a conspiracy theorist. Oops.
Monday: 6, Lizz: 3

The rest of work is uneventful and normal, other than my inability to remember that it’s actually Monday and that planning something for Wednesday does NOT mean it’s tomorrow. Also have an incredibly productive afternoon meeting with 2 co—workers.
Monday: 6, Lizz: 4

Walking to train station from work, I trip. Being a highly experienced klutz, I am normally able to catch myself and can’t even remember the last time I actually fell. Until today. Full on somersault, ass over teakettle on the sidewalk. Skinned my knee, possible hole in my favorite jeans, my wrist hurts and I smashed my hip pretty good, too.
Monday: 11, Lizz:4
(Points awarded for knee, wrist, hip, jeans, and pride injuries)

I’m a little afraid to continue keeping score, Monday.

I’m calling a mercy rule.

See you next week, though.

You’re going down.