I Won’t Make You Call Me ‘Mom’
Dear Future Daughter-in-Law,
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As I write this I want you to know I love you. If my Max loves you, then I love you. There are qualities I *hope* you have, and yeah, some I don't, but generally speaking, I already love you. (Please be a non-smoker!)
I want nothing but the best for you and Max, for you to succeed, and be happy, and get everything out of this life that your own parents and I (and Jamie, of course!) have always wanted for the two of you.
I want you to see the world, and to make it a better place. I want the two of you together to be better than you are separately. I want you to leave an indelible mark on the lives you touch. I don't care if that's literal, if you're both housepainters or tattoo artists, or figurative, if you're teachers and musicians.
I just want you to be happy. Together.
You might not fully understand this until you have your own kids (and who knows, maybe you already do!) but Max is a part of me, and no number of miles or years can change that. He is my heart, wandering around, finding his way in this world. And his way has brought him to you.
If you have a serious enough relationship that you're getting married, I assume you know the story of his birth. That he and I both could have died, and that that's why he has no siblings. We've been through a lot, he and I, so I might come across as overly protective of him sometimes, and it might feel, to you, that I'm overstepping his adult-life boundaries.
Please don't be afraid to tell me. I don't want you to stew and roll your eyes when the time comes for us to spend time together. If you need my help, don't be afraid to ask! I understand that you'll want your mom more than me most times, but please know that I'm always available for you!
Max is my son, my sweet baby, my heart. I'm trusting you to take good care of him, so please don't let me down.
We're both women who love and adore Max… that's a good place to start a relationship, doncha think?
Lots of Love,
Lizz
PS: I'll do my best to limit the “When am I getting grandbabies?” questions, but I make no guarantees! 🙂
Great post! As a daughter-in-law that has had to have the “call me Mom” discussion, I think you have the right attitude.
Really nice post. If your daughter-in-law is smart enough to read this, she probably already knew what a great mother-in-law she is getting.
An absolutely beautiful share, Lizz. Nothing more to say….and you might remember, that’s doesn’t happen often for me! ;>
OMG…I wasn’t expecting to start crying. Damn it!
Seriously that was beautiful and you have motiviated me to write a letter to the boys future wives. Thanks for sharing.
I often check your blog for updates but have never commented.
I love this post. I, too, hope to have great relationships with my kids’ spouses, if they choose to get married. The relationship with my in-laws is beyond strained and there is little hope that the relationship between their son, and our family, can ever be saved.