I Will

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For Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop this week (my first time actually participating for real!) I chose to write about a song with significance.

I didn't have to think long about what song to choose. Of all the songs in my life and memory, there is a single one that really and truly means the most to me.

I've been in love with Jamie since I was about 16 years old… since we got together, I've been saying I “had a crush on him” in high school, but the more I think about it, it's always been The L Word. In the ten or so years in between graduating high school and reconnecting with him, I dated a couple of guys who caught my attention purely because they reminded me of him. (It's true, babe. I've never told you, so I'll tell the world now instead! LOL)
So anyway, I've been in love with him since forever, and he asked me to marry him and then we were (squeal!) planning our wedding!

So. We're dorky big Beatles fans. Big fans. (When I say big, picture Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. “Big mistake. Big. Huge.” You know the scene.) So we're Big. Huge. Beatles fans. Like, we went to Liverpool on our honeymoon sort of fans. Named our eventual kid Maxwell sort of fans.

In the midst of wedding planning, I'd put my iPod on my ‘All Beatles All the Time' playlist, and I found myself listening to a song that I'd never really noticed before, even though it was from the White Album, which is one of my favorites. It was one of those things where all of a sudden, it was all I wanted to hear, and I had to listen to it over and over, and I found myself tearing up every time I listened to it and daydreamed about this amazing start to our married life.

When I pictured our wedding day, this was the soundtrack that played in my head.

If you're not in a place to watch/listen to the video, here are the lyrics:

I Will Lennon/McCartney
Who knows how long I've loved you
You know I love you still
Will I wait a lonely lifetime
If you want me to, I will.

For if I ever saw you
I didn't catch your name
But it never really mattered
I will always feel the same.

Love you forever and forever
Love you with all my heart
Love you whenever we're together
Love you when we're apart.

And when at last I find you
Your song will fill the air
Sing it loud so I can hear you
Make it easy to be near you
For the things you do endear you to me
Oh, you know, I will
I will.

So I'm listening to this song, over and over, picturing our perfect wedding day, and I decide I want to walk down the aisle to this song. I simply have to walk down the aisle to it. It'll be perfection.
In planning our wedding, we'd wanted to put our stamp on as much of it as we could; we got married in the dead of winter; not my choice, but Jamie's best friend from junior high (who I've also known since high school) was being ordained an Episcopal priest (like for real, not online or anything) and we wanted to be the first wedding ceremony he performed, so we had to schedule for the weekend after ordination. I made the invitations, Jamie and his Best Man made the beer we served at the reception as well as the Christmas tree ornaments we gave as favors. We pulled from Celtic, Irish and Episcopal traditions for the service… all we needed was the perfect music.
I don't remember the exact progression of discussions, but long story short, we ended up soundtracking our entire wedding to Beatles songs, but this one will always be my favorite.

If you're curious, the other songs we used were:

• “Two of Us” for the guy procession into the ceremony
• “I Will” for girl procession
• “Oh-Blah-Di Oh-Blah-Dah” for our exiting ceremony
• “Golden Slumbers” for parent dances (Me and my dad, Jamie and his mom)
• “In My Life” for our first dance
• “Sgt. Pepper's Reprise” for our leaving the reception