Baby Steps

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Hi. My name is Lizz. I'm a 30-something suburban working mom. I've been happily married for almost five years, and have the most amazing 3-year old ever. I'm about as white bread as you can get. We have bamboo floors and granite counters. I drool over the Anthropologie and Tiffany catalogs I get, but in reality get most of my clothes and accessories at Target and Kohls. I watch Grey's Anatomy and So You Think You Can Dance, and listen to Mumford & Sons and Adele.
I'm a mommy blogger and I drive a Mazda hatchback. I scrapbook and bake and wish I could afford to get a mani-pedi every week.

And there's no political issue ever, in the history of my life, that I've felt more passionate about than marriage equality.

I call it an issue, but it's a NON-issue. To my mind, it's like asking me, “Hey Lizz! Should we have burgers or cat poop for dinner?” A non-issue. I just don't get it. Opponents call themselves “Protectors of traditional marriage,” or “Save Families! Marriage is between and man and a woman!” Bullshit.

See, here's the thing. If When same sex couples are allowed to marry, one of two things will happen. Either a man in a black trenchcoat will show up at your door and assist your spouse in relocating somewhere else so you can't live together anymore, your child will start doing drugs and hate you, and your pets will die, or, nothing. Yup, nothing.

The sky will stay put, and your life will be exactly the same as it was yesterday. Your paycheck will be the same, you'll still have to make extra trips to the grocery store for milk and bread, your husband's feet will still stink, you'll still have to refill the toilet paper roll, your wife will still nag you about putting the dishes away, and if there were problems in your marriage, they'll still be there. The only difference is that the nice gay couple down the street will now be married, and have the same protections and rights under the law that you do.

And they'll probably be happier than you can imagine, because for them, their marriage has taken effort. They didn't get to walk down the aisle, they've come across a battlefield. They didn't get to run off to Vegas for a drive-thru quickie ceremony after a few too many cocktails resulting in a 55 hour marriage *coughBritneycough* They FOUGHT for this.

Last night, New York state voted to legalize same-sex marriage, and the word is that ceremonies will start in 30 days. A single tweet last night made me tear up, and the thought of these couples, who have been waiting for so long, who will finally get their day… I thought I was excited when planning my wedding!

So here's what it boils down to: Marriage is about love between two people. Two. To deny two responsible, in love, willing adults the ability to marry is denying them the right to be happy. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Who are we to get in the way?

Let's BEE Friends

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  1. Awesome post. Love it. I know that it's only a matter of time, but damn, the fact that we're spending any oxygen talking about it, much less fighting it is ridiculous.

  2. I totally agree with you, thank you for posting this, you did a wonderful job.

    Stacy @

  3. Well said. I'm with you on that Tim Carvell tweet. I literally ran to the bathroom so I could sob in private for a few moments.

  4. loved, loved , loved this, I am so happy for the BABY STEPS.
    I am so proud of NY for this, so proud of us as a PEOPLE for accepting it. YEA.

  5. I am so proud of New York for stepping up and doing the right thing, unlike Rhode Island. That tweet was wonderful; I hope they'll have an amazing marriage.

    I can't wrap my head around why this threatens so many people. I just can't. It's not going to make you magically gay or recruit your spouse or turn the sky purple. I understand that some religions don't want to do it and I'm fine with that. The Catholic church wouldn't allow me to marry my husband in it; that's fine. We were married in a civil ceremony. Civil marriage should be legal for everyone.

  6. Great post! Way to go New York. Can't believe CA is still lagging behind but we'll get there some day. As you say, Baby Steps. 🙂

  7. Should we have burgers or cat poop for dinner?
    This is the most excellent demonstration of "non-issue" I have ever seen. It's possible I'll have to borrow it in the near future.

    As an Angeleno, I have to agree with the Californians above in hoping we'll catch up soon enough! I'm usually a very mellow person, but during the last elections, I'd drive back home through the OC, see the hateful signs and (usually) only barely restrain myself from responding in a way I'd later regret.

    Better with words, and hope in our hearts!

  8. Stopping by from the Let's Bee Friends blog hop.

    Sister, you said it better than I ever could – I LOVE this! I am thankful that I live in Canada, where our definition of marriage is gender-neutral and same-sex marriage is pretty much a non-issue, just like you said.

  9. Amen, amen. It's ridiculous that we're still having this conversation with all the bullshit going on in the world. Let love rule.

  10. I absolutely agree with you on all points.

    "Traditional" marriage has done plenty to destroy the sanctity of marriage then to blame it on anyone who participates in any type of consensual marriage between adults.

    I hope that made sense.

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