6 Advent calendars that would totally ruin Christmas

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advent calendars that would totally ruin christmas

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Ahhh, it's almost December and children all over the world will wake soon to open the first door on their Advent Calendar, that beloved countdown to Christmas morning.
Around here, we do a chocolate one from IKEA, and the LEGO City one of course, but then we started talking about some TERRIBLE Advent calendar ideas that might exist in some awful alternate universe… here are six Advent calendars that would just be the WORST:

  1. Chores

    Each day brings some new household task that must be completed. Examples include: Emptying the cat pan, cleaning the baseboards, scrubbing the toilet, vacuuming under the refrigerator, or cleaning out that gross food catcher thing in the bottom of the dishwasher.

  2. Biting Insects

    This one is more interactive than others; the calender consists of a variety of containers, and each day you release a new biting insect into your home. Available with and without the Malaria upgrade.

  3. Homework

    Regardless of actual grade level, everyone gets the same assignment. Upon purchase of this advent calendar, it is registered with the student's teacher, so the work is due the next day, no excuses or you'll get a zero for the day. Problems range from simple kindergarten sight word spelling quizzes to collegiate level algebraic equations.

  4. Leftovers

    The perfect solution for what to do with all that extra food from Thanksgiving! This special set of numbered plastic containers allows you to portion the remnants of your celebratory feast into snack sized portions to be enjoyed over the course of the coming month, so you can revel in the happy memories of your Thanksgiving Day. This one is not recommended if you are immune compromised or have an otherwise weak stomach.

  5. Obsolete Technology

    Each day will bring a little piece of technology from ages past, which is cool for about 45 seconds, and then it's just more clutter for your house. The first week includes a Betamax tape (of a Very Special After School Special, circa 1986), a Sly and the Family Stone 8-track, a 5.25″ “Oregon Trail” install floppy disk, an AOL promotional CD, and a Sony walkman with included mix tape. Unfortunately, the tape has come unwound inside the walkman, so you'll need to provide your own pencil to remedy that situation.

  6. Jigsaw Puzzle

    This is actually a cool idea, in theory. Except that our alternate universe gifts you with pieces from 24 different puzzles, so you can't actually finish it. But all of the pieces *look* like they could be from the same puzzle, so you are unable to realize that there's a problem until about the 18th of December.

Want a cool Advent calendar instead?

We rounded up a bunch of different options for everyone in the family, kids and adults, so take a look and grab one of these to make this the best December ever!

Happy December!

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One Comment

  1. I hope that your leftover version at least comes so that it fits well into a fridge door. You have a very twisted sense of humor, my friend. And that Walkman? With Guardians of the Galaxy, those things are actually valuable again. Check eBay. Scary.

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